2016 Election Solved

09/04/2016

 

How we solved the Clinton/Trump problem

 

As the election of 2016 approached, the American people were in revolt. The options presented to them were unacceptable, they didn’t meet the baseline requirement of presidency — what Al Franken characterized as “someone who is sane and competent.”

 

The mob rose up and tension swelled so the government initiated a stop-gap solution: an additional line was added to each presidential ballot.

 

If this new “candidate” won the majority of the electoral college then the process of primaries would begin again in January and a new election would be held the following November.

 

None of the above won 72% of the popular vote in November of 2016.

President Obama was to remain in office until a new president was elected.

 

Primaries began anew and PACs were formed, some of them super. A new series of debates and scandals and sensationalism took place and when the dust settled the conventions returned a new ballot:

 

Clinton, Trump, None of the above.

 

This time none of the above received only 68% of the popular vote. Primaries began anew and PACs were formed, some of them super. A new series of debates and scandals and sensationalism took place and when the dust settled the conventions returned a new ballot:

 

Clinton, Trump, None of the above.

 

This time none of the above received a staggering 81% of the popular vote.  Primaries began anew and PACs were formed, some of them super. A new series of debates and scandals and sensationalism took place and when the dust settled the conventions returned a new ballot:

 

Clinton, Trump, None of the above.

 

Someone really smart and influential went on a national talk show after the 4th or 5th year and said that the Al Franken standard was impossible because it called for a true catch-22. Anyone competent enough to be the king of the world would have to be insane to apply — anyone who was sane enough to do the job wouldn’t want it. The man who said it didn’t want the job.

 

Obama died in office at age 97.

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© 2018 by Mike Wehner

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